I first heard the term from the Fashionista, and it amused me to no end. Conceptually, I appreciate the practicality of it, as well as the mild transgressiveness of it for girls. In reality, it rather scared me. It’s the whole reason I refuse to do primitive camping. I will schlep supplies, cook over fire, scour for wood, no problems. Peeing in the woods – um, no. Because knowing my luck, I would probably end up peeing on a sleeping animal or my jeans. But tonight, I popped my first squat, and it was surprisingly liberating.
Context: It’s about 6 hours from Athens to NoVA. Unfortunately, that middle-to-late section when you inevitably have to pee, is in the boonies with exits many miles apart and nothing visible from the road. Also, my residual cold has totally thrown off my hydration, as I discovered after I finished my second 20oz bottle of water.
I had crossed into MD, and I was wondering about my kidneys of steel. But I would need gas and more water before I would get to NoVA. So when I saw a sign for gas stations AND a Dunkin Donuts, I decided to take a pit stop. (I’m a total sucker for DnD). But the DnD was NOT to be found. Apparently I went the wrong way or something, because there was nothing but me and deer in the darkness. At this point, the bumpy road combined with my realization that I had downed not one but two bottles of water made the situation go sour quickly. I am trying to navigate back to the highway and ideally the DnD/gas station, but ended up pulling over in some parking lot. I looked both ways, found a conveniently large bush, and backed myself into it. Nothing like the cold winter breeze on your bare bum as you water the plants as discreetly and quickly as possible.
I still wanted the DnD, but when I did find it, it was closed! And the 7-Eleven I filled up at didn’t have water at the fountain! ARGH! A very frustrating pit-stop, but at least mildly entertaining.
Post-script: Airplane bathrooms are possibly even worse. Probably less sanitary, more smelly and you have the added challenge of turbulence.
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