Chicago Dog

Behold the Chicago Dog.

Ingredients: Vienna Beef hot dog, steamed poppy-seed bun, yellow mustard, bright green relish, chopped onions, a pickle, tomato slices, peppers and celery salt. Please note the complete absence of ketchup.

Yes, under all those toppings is an actual hot dog. There is some debate about char-grilled versus boiled. But ketchup is a universal no-no.

This and a side of fries is what I had for dinner tonight. Not sure what the siren song was that lured me in there (other than the coupon burning a hole in my bag). This was a necessary experience in Chicago, but not terribly a good idea.

With so many toppings, I had been hoping the Chicago dog would be so gross it would be nasty. Because I have been known to eat gross things (tuna on peanut butter, Eurotrash). This was so gross it was just more gross. I had to wimp out and pull off one of the peppers.

So here is my theory:
I grew up on microwaved hot dogs in a slice of white bread and ketchup with rice and Campbell's pork-n-beans. Apparently this is blasphemy.

Mustard is acceptable on hotdogs, and in my adulthood, I have come to appreciate it.

And the Chicago dog seems rather well-dressed. And mustard is basic, like underwear. So having a dog with mustard is acceptable because underwear is fundamental, if a bit bare. And ketchup is like socks. A nice complement to other toppings, but silly on its own. But all the Chicago dog toppings are a bit of a taste cacophany. But it did make me miss my Carolina Lo-Dog (with pork BBQ, slaw and hot sauce on top of a 1/4 kosher beef dog).

no iTunes tonight.