- I am addicted to information. I go into a mini-panic whenever I don't have my phone on me, or perish the thought, I don't have internet. it's part of why i got a laptop - because I constantly have stupid little questions that will irk me until i get an answer. having portable search is way better. for example, I can't watch a movie on TV without checking imdb at least once. so instead of jumping up and missing something, I would just bring the laptop in. Learned that trick at Yellow House.
- Along with this addiction to information, I love learning new things. I can easily spend the better part of an hour clicking through links that lead me to MPIs and the awesomeness of St. Vitus (patron saint of dance because of of the apraxia not the other way around, also performers and oversleepers and Prague).
- So in that sense, it's great to be in grad school. on the other, it makes it so hard to commit to a topic or have the attention span to focus on it. that's the real reason it takes me so damn long to do anything - because I am constantly interrupted with random queries.
- Also - I hate the look people give me when I try to explain my interest in weird diseases. I hate apologizing for being interested in something entirely unrelated to theatre-dance, and something most of the people I talk to know nothing about. grr.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
My weird habits
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Isla Vista
Quick local geography lesson:
University of California Santa Barbara is actually located in Goleta. Within Goleta, there is a non-incorporated neighborhood on the edge of the beach, called Isla Vista. Mostly, this is a concentration of undergrad party people. (This is where all the frats are, along with the only places around that are open 24/7). El Colegio marks the north end of IV, and I live on the other side.
On one hand, I love being able to walk to the student slacker mass, and other emergency needs. And they have an impressive beer distributor. It's the only strip of bars within walking distance. Makes is really to know where NOT to live.
On the other - what a trainwreck. Halloween is reported to be totally off-the-hook here. Not just drunken Court Street in Athens. Emails from the university suggest this event is not just crazy, but potentially dangerous. The central park in IV will host an emergency first-aid tent, which doesn't just dole out band-aids and ice packs, but also provides for victims of alcohol poisoning AND sexual assault! Yikes. This wasn't just the "know your resources" kind of thing. But the emails also suggest that the university is more interested in collecting fines for possession than protecting students. Charming.
That said, part of me would love to live on the bluffs. But not enough to deal with rampant drunkenness, or paying a shitload of money to SHARE a bedroom. And there are some pretty parks, and prettier street names (Sueno, Abrego, Sabado Tarde), all of which confirm its emphasis on leisure.
Next week, I am so doing the sunset yoga though!
University of California Santa Barbara is actually located in Goleta. Within Goleta, there is a non-incorporated neighborhood on the edge of the beach, called Isla Vista. Mostly, this is a concentration of undergrad party people. (This is where all the frats are, along with the only places around that are open 24/7). El Colegio marks the north end of IV, and I live on the other side.
On one hand, I love being able to walk to the student slacker mass, and other emergency needs. And they have an impressive beer distributor. It's the only strip of bars within walking distance. Makes is really to know where NOT to live.
On the other - what a trainwreck. Halloween is reported to be totally off-the-hook here. Not just drunken Court Street in Athens. Emails from the university suggest this event is not just crazy, but potentially dangerous. The central park in IV will host an emergency first-aid tent, which doesn't just dole out band-aids and ice packs, but also provides for victims of alcohol poisoning AND sexual assault! Yikes. This wasn't just the "know your resources" kind of thing. But the emails also suggest that the university is more interested in collecting fines for possession than protecting students. Charming.
That said, part of me would love to live on the bluffs. But not enough to deal with rampant drunkenness, or paying a shitload of money to SHARE a bedroom. And there are some pretty parks, and prettier street names (Sueno, Abrego, Sabado Tarde), all of which confirm its emphasis on leisure.
Next week, I am so doing the sunset yoga though!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Massage
The whole idea of "getting a massage" sounds so indulgent. Especially for a grad student at the mercy of financial aid. But I consider it part of a larger health treatment/stress maintenance. The past few days have been pretty rough, so it was nice to take some time to do something completely frivolous. Well, not completely, since I found a school that offers massages by their students at a discount.
And of course, one massage is never enough. But it did make me much more body aware and integrated. What a difference human contact can make. It was interesting to feel/find different points that hold or release tension. The technique of the masseuse was very lengthening. It felt like a mile between my ears and my sacrum. And now I feel all moisturized, even slick. (Makes sitting cross-legged really entertaining). If only I could find a way to incorporate massage into a more regular routine.
And of course, one massage is never enough. But it did make me much more body aware and integrated. What a difference human contact can make. It was interesting to feel/find different points that hold or release tension. The technique of the masseuse was very lengthening. It felt like a mile between my ears and my sacrum. And now I feel all moisturized, even slick. (Makes sitting cross-legged really entertaining). If only I could find a way to incorporate massage into a more regular routine.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Medieval
The article about violence in education, combined with the lecture on education as torture in Pedagogy couldn't have been better timed. Particularly Prudentius' image of the scholar dying of a thousand stylus stabs.
We're approaching midterm, which at the grad level is not about exams, but fighting apathy and the mental exhaustion. I can't complain too much actually, since unlike some grads here, I am not teaching or in production. And unlike Lil Sis at OU, I am only taking 3 classes. So it's not even the work itself as much as all the little stylus pokes, like fighting financial aid, or adapting to the California-ness, or reckoning with all the little things I had not anticipated. Scholarship involves an element of masochism. Hurts so good (like my trip to the dentist this afternoon). And sometimes you don't realise the extent of your injuries until there is actually blood dripping.
All of this came to a head on Wednesday night, when I had finally committed to going to Athens to visit. Found the one window where I don't have African Theatre one week, combined with a pass on my Chicano Studies class. I accepted the expense, its inherent frivolousness, and the work I would have to do academically to accommodate it, because I value my sanity, and I miss my Ohio life. Then I read that the class I was going to teach had been rescheduled, inconveniently the same day my final paper is due in Pedagogy (even though it is only week 8 of 11). And since I still hadn't gotten any feedback on my topic proposals, it wasn't something I could churn out early. And all of these conflicts made the impractical completely impossible. There was mini-meltdown.
When I started this process, I accepted that I would have to make sacrifices. I didn't realise that I would have to sacrifice not only a social life here and now, but also the opportunity to maintain any of the other lives I have created along the way. The phrase "What the hell is the point?" rang out. But, being me, I responded to this by eating cake and doing research. Just what is required of me; how long will it take; what are my options. Ultimately, I can be less than social or happy for 4 years of my life, and have the degree to spend the rest of my life doing what I want. Or I could drop out, be miserable in some desk job for alot longer than 4 years, and have to live with the fact that I give up (which I just cannot do). Really, academia is my natural habitat.
I have come up with a list of alternatives and new academic reasons for flying back to the east coast. Not the least of which is a dance conference at Hollins (a short 4 hour drive from Athens), the theme of which is Global Feminisms. Hello!
on Pandora: "Pale Shelter" - Tears for Fears
We're approaching midterm, which at the grad level is not about exams, but fighting apathy and the mental exhaustion. I can't complain too much actually, since unlike some grads here, I am not teaching or in production. And unlike Lil Sis at OU, I am only taking 3 classes. So it's not even the work itself as much as all the little stylus pokes, like fighting financial aid, or adapting to the California-ness, or reckoning with all the little things I had not anticipated. Scholarship involves an element of masochism. Hurts so good (like my trip to the dentist this afternoon). And sometimes you don't realise the extent of your injuries until there is actually blood dripping.
All of this came to a head on Wednesday night, when I had finally committed to going to Athens to visit. Found the one window where I don't have African Theatre one week, combined with a pass on my Chicano Studies class. I accepted the expense, its inherent frivolousness, and the work I would have to do academically to accommodate it, because I value my sanity, and I miss my Ohio life. Then I read that the class I was going to teach had been rescheduled, inconveniently the same day my final paper is due in Pedagogy (even though it is only week 8 of 11). And since I still hadn't gotten any feedback on my topic proposals, it wasn't something I could churn out early. And all of these conflicts made the impractical completely impossible. There was mini-meltdown.
When I started this process, I accepted that I would have to make sacrifices. I didn't realise that I would have to sacrifice not only a social life here and now, but also the opportunity to maintain any of the other lives I have created along the way. The phrase "What the hell is the point?" rang out. But, being me, I responded to this by eating cake and doing research. Just what is required of me; how long will it take; what are my options. Ultimately, I can be less than social or happy for 4 years of my life, and have the degree to spend the rest of my life doing what I want. Or I could drop out, be miserable in some desk job for alot longer than 4 years, and have to live with the fact that I give up (which I just cannot do). Really, academia is my natural habitat.
I have come up with a list of alternatives and new academic reasons for flying back to the east coast. Not the least of which is a dance conference at Hollins (a short 4 hour drive from Athens), the theme of which is Global Feminisms. Hello!
on Pandora: "Pale Shelter" - Tears for Fears
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
What grad students talk about
When we aren't discoursing or dialoguing about theory and its applications to performance blah blah blah, here is what grad students talk about:
- What is your favorite apple? This was hotly debated in my Cultural Studies class, I wish I could say it wasn't about color, because it just oversimplifies red/yellow/green, not fully appreciating the fine distinctions between Gala, Macintosh and Granny Smith.
- The image of a hormone-pumped chicken with huge breasts is still funny, despite what it reveals about agribusiness. Even better - the idea of buffaloes being farmed that way. (Thanks Trader Joe for clearing up that the buffalo, like that used in its jerky, is NOT endangered.)
- Do blind people worry about fashion? If I was blind, would it be ok for me to be naked, since I wouldn't care what I looked like? This is what happens when you have a bunch of overanalytical people who are underfed or underrested and seeing trailers for a movie called Blindness.
Monday, October 20, 2008
When Bad Bikes Attack
UCSB is definitely a bike community. Trails run all over the place. Isla Vista has largely been abandoned by cars because it is overrun with bikes. And the fact that it is always acceptable bike weather (mild temps, not alot of rain) adds to the appeal.
Originally, I had planned on buying a bike when I got here, but SuperK already had a bike that he didn't use much. But it turned on me. Bad Bike and I had a couple of run-ins before, but I was willing to dismiss them as me being out of practice, and the bike being a boy-bike (thus a bit out of size for me). However, these were mini-skids or loss of balance. Not the full-on attack of Friday.
Friday, I jumped on the bike to head over to Santa Ynez offices to research (transl: raise hell) about San Clemente housing. En route, the bike decided to take out its aggressions on me. In a quick instant, I felt like I couldn't steer. Next moment - I am sprawled most inelegantly across the parking lot. This would also be the one day I wore a skirt. And there was one person, (boy of course) to witness my wipeout and whatever color undies I wore that day. Now I am covered in bruises in weird places where either I landed or the bike landed on me, and a bunch of charming scrapes. After I picked myself up, I saw that one brake seized, and the chain came of all 21 gears. I was able to make it operable again. But it finally made up my mind to break down and buy my own bike. Ideally one that liked me.
Now, I am the proud owner of a matte periwinkle beach cruiser, complete with basket and comfy seat. The tires have a matching periwinkle rims under their fenders. Leather grips. I'm still trying to adapt to this totally different bike. It doesn't have gears or handbrakes. The handlebar is curved and wide. And these coaster brakes are totally weird to me. But it's so cute, and I'm so cute pedaling it.
Originally, I had planned on buying a bike when I got here, but SuperK already had a bike that he didn't use much. But it turned on me. Bad Bike and I had a couple of run-ins before, but I was willing to dismiss them as me being out of practice, and the bike being a boy-bike (thus a bit out of size for me). However, these were mini-skids or loss of balance. Not the full-on attack of Friday.
Friday, I jumped on the bike to head over to Santa Ynez offices to research (transl: raise hell) about San Clemente housing. En route, the bike decided to take out its aggressions on me. In a quick instant, I felt like I couldn't steer. Next moment - I am sprawled most inelegantly across the parking lot. This would also be the one day I wore a skirt. And there was one person, (boy of course) to witness my wipeout and whatever color undies I wore that day. Now I am covered in bruises in weird places where either I landed or the bike landed on me, and a bunch of charming scrapes. After I picked myself up, I saw that one brake seized, and the chain came of all 21 gears. I was able to make it operable again. But it finally made up my mind to break down and buy my own bike. Ideally one that liked me.
Now, I am the proud owner of a matte periwinkle beach cruiser, complete with basket and comfy seat. The tires have a matching periwinkle rims under their fenders. Leather grips. I'm still trying to adapt to this totally different bike. It doesn't have gears or handbrakes. The handlebar is curved and wide. And these coaster brakes are totally weird to me. But it's so cute, and I'm so cute pedaling it.
Friday, October 17, 2008
Catching up on my shows
Thursday nights have become the time for me to do a bit of a brain-dump. Last night, I accidentally slept through the Teatro Chicana event, and I skipped ballroom practice. Why learn basic swing when I could sit around and clear out the TiVo with SuperK? (I know I should work on my fundamentals and technique, but the impulse to advance or try teaching can be too much of a temptation.)
I love our DVR. I am never around for the first airings, and I prefer watching my shows at odd hours as a stretch break from my reading. And Thursday nights in particular are a great chance to catch up and clean out the DVR.
House: What an interesting episode! Crazy diagnosis and we learn about House and Wilson's relationship. This show never fails to grab my interest. Maybe the delving into the personal is just trendy, since the new SVU was also really good. Watching Hugh Laurie or Christopher Meloni work can give me goosebumps. Their eye-candy-ness doesn't hurt either.
Grey's Anatomy: I feel dirty for liking this show in the first place, but it does work as a great mind-dump. It's great to see less and less of Cry-Face Meredith. And in case I didn't love George enough, the scene with him bodily snatching the kid out of the gruesome surgery and connecting, was precious and brilliant. 2nd fave - him getting all bad-ass on the whiny girls.
Project Runway: Actually, we watched this live, but I re-watched it last night. Kenley continues to drive me crazy, and her collection was chaotic. I will say that I covet her mandarin collar beige silk dress with flowers. But when Leann's collection came along, I was just blown away. Sublime! Cohesive, flawlessly executed and styled, obviously Leann. Probably the best final runway show I've seen. If she didn't win, I would have given up Project Runway altogether. Korto's collection was interesting and innovative, but I didn't love some of the looks and th imperfect color palatte.
Also on the DVR - When Weather Changes History - the Chicago Fire. Yeah history+science+Chicago!
But now that it's Friday, I need to run errands and start my African Theater reading.
I love our DVR. I am never around for the first airings, and I prefer watching my shows at odd hours as a stretch break from my reading. And Thursday nights in particular are a great chance to catch up and clean out the DVR.
House: What an interesting episode! Crazy diagnosis and we learn about House and Wilson's relationship. This show never fails to grab my interest. Maybe the delving into the personal is just trendy, since the new SVU was also really good. Watching Hugh Laurie or Christopher Meloni work can give me goosebumps. Their eye-candy-ness doesn't hurt either.
Grey's Anatomy: I feel dirty for liking this show in the first place, but it does work as a great mind-dump. It's great to see less and less of Cry-Face Meredith. And in case I didn't love George enough, the scene with him bodily snatching the kid out of the gruesome surgery and connecting, was precious and brilliant. 2nd fave - him getting all bad-ass on the whiny girls.
Project Runway: Actually, we watched this live, but I re-watched it last night. Kenley continues to drive me crazy, and her collection was chaotic. I will say that I covet her mandarin collar beige silk dress with flowers. But when Leann's collection came along, I was just blown away. Sublime! Cohesive, flawlessly executed and styled, obviously Leann. Probably the best final runway show I've seen. If she didn't win, I would have given up Project Runway altogether. Korto's collection was interesting and innovative, but I didn't love some of the looks and th imperfect color palatte.
Also on the DVR - When Weather Changes History - the Chicago Fire. Yeah history+science+Chicago!
But now that it's Friday, I need to run errands and start my African Theater reading.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Beach post-script
As soon as I posted my last entry, I had a little realisation. I have always lived near water. I'm not sure if this is a function of settlement patterns, or something more subconscious at work. I remember what a thrill it was to drive to the VA Beach after ER parties at William and Mary to avoid more work. It took about an hour to drive there in Spamber's Taurus, then the appropriate bumming on the sand before the guilt kicked back in. Charlottesville had trails running along the Rivanna River.
Living in Chicago, I lived right along the Lake. It was a one mile walk from my place to North Ave beach. Spent many quality hours walking along the lake downtown, or driving along the lovely Lake Shore Drive.
And my apartment in Athens was less than a mile from the Hocking River. Which wasn't terribly scenic, but it was still a body of water, and way more interesting to read/run along.
Now, I live half a mile from an honest-to-goodness beach. With sand and ocean! Extra bonus - the weather tends to be gorgeous, and beach-conducive. I am excited at the proximity, as well as the fact that I am in a lifestyle/schedule that allows me to visit it. As the Domestic God put it - if you are going to spend 5 years in hell, it might as well be in paradise!
Living in Chicago, I lived right along the Lake. It was a one mile walk from my place to North Ave beach. Spent many quality hours walking along the lake downtown, or driving along the lovely Lake Shore Drive.
And my apartment in Athens was less than a mile from the Hocking River. Which wasn't terribly scenic, but it was still a body of water, and way more interesting to read/run along.
Now, I live half a mile from an honest-to-goodness beach. With sand and ocean! Extra bonus - the weather tends to be gorgeous, and beach-conducive. I am excited at the proximity, as well as the fact that I am in a lifestyle/schedule that allows me to visit it. As the Domestic God put it - if you are going to spend 5 years in hell, it might as well be in paradise!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Carving out some beach time
For the past month, I have been trying to make time to go to the beach. I have managed a quick walk coming back from campus errands, but no quality time. I was thwarted by scheduling, weather and my own vampire hours. Like this weekend was sunny, but super windy, kicking up large particles.
Today, I woke up a bit early, did my morning routine, then put on my bikini and biked down to the beach. The first access was all clogged up with seaweed, which is not uncommon in Santa Barbara. Last night's full moon seems to have churned up extra yuckies. Also, since I arrived during high tide, there wasn't alot of sand to bask on. But Isla Vista has a nice little park with some cliff overhangs. They also have a great place to hang a hammock, but that space was taken. (well, that I and I don't have a hammock)
It was really gorgeous to sit up on the cliff in the sun. My time at the beach wasn't all play, though. In my bag, along with my water bottle and towel, I had a pile of plays and articles to read for my class tomorrow. Strangely, I found my focus really good. Blame the white noise of waves, or the perfect low-80s temperature.
Go go multitasking!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Ringtone
After weeks of mulling, I finally changed my ringtone. This was a long time coming. Partially because I have the same ringtone for ages. I generally choose the weirdest ringtone on my phone. Unfortunately, so does my mom. Nothing like the eerie moment in the car when a cell rings and both of us dive for our phones. Ouch.
So I had been shopping around for a new ringtone. The options on T-Mobile were much more extensive than I had expected. It ended up me on the couch playing snippets for SuperK to find the perfect ringtone - catchy, interesting, possible conversation-starter, but not too annoying, brain-sticky or spring-y or so much fun I would never answer the phone because I was listening to it. The decision - "Galvanize" by Chemical Brothers. Tres cool. Now I just need people to call me!
on Jango: "Can You Feel It" - Apples in Stereo
So I had been shopping around for a new ringtone. The options on T-Mobile were much more extensive than I had expected. It ended up me on the couch playing snippets for SuperK to find the perfect ringtone - catchy, interesting, possible conversation-starter, but not too annoying, brain-sticky or spring-y or so much fun I would never answer the phone because I was listening to it. The decision - "Galvanize" by Chemical Brothers. Tres cool. Now I just need people to call me!
on Jango: "Can You Feel It" - Apples in Stereo
Monday, October 13, 2008
UC Goleta
A little detail they don't put in the brochure - UC Santa Barbara is actually situated in Goleta. This is a great source of confusion for mail delivery, since the mail is sorted at the UCSB location in SBA, but all non USPS deliveries are addressed to Goleta. For the most part, this is more an oddity than problem. But the more I try to do things around the area, the more glaring it becomes. For one, most of the bars are in Santa Barbara, which is actually like 10 miles down 101. I have been spoiled, since I have almost always been able to walk to/from the bar. And while I know California is Car-Culture, I thought the college-town-ness might have exempted us.
This evening, I decided to run some errands in Ventura. Because SBA/Goleta don't believe in Big Box stores (or drive-thrus apparently). Unfortunately, to get to Ventura, you must drive thru Santa Barbara, and its associated traffic. It's amazing. As soon as you cross the city line, the cars back up. Of course this errand took twice as long as I anticipated. Also a pisser - the Brita I bought doesn't work with our faucet which will require another trek to return it. And as pretty as it was to watch the moon rise over brake lights, I think I will try the drive at a different hour.
Goleta is north of SBA, which was great driving back from the wedding in San Francisco, but since I will be generally heading in the opposite direction, it's rather a hassle. Also a hassle - the fact that it takes 10 minutes just to walk to my car, which really cuts down on the spontaneous trips. But it's good, because between the walk to the car and the lack of drive-thrus, I am way less likely to succumb to the fast food crave. And since the elevator doesn't work in the parking garage, I get to hike the 4 flights to my car. By Christmas, my butt should be GORGEOUS.
on Pandora: "Sweet Lemonade" - Monster Movie
This evening, I decided to run some errands in Ventura. Because SBA/Goleta don't believe in Big Box stores (or drive-thrus apparently). Unfortunately, to get to Ventura, you must drive thru Santa Barbara, and its associated traffic. It's amazing. As soon as you cross the city line, the cars back up. Of course this errand took twice as long as I anticipated. Also a pisser - the Brita I bought doesn't work with our faucet which will require another trek to return it. And as pretty as it was to watch the moon rise over brake lights, I think I will try the drive at a different hour.
Goleta is north of SBA, which was great driving back from the wedding in San Francisco, but since I will be generally heading in the opposite direction, it's rather a hassle. Also a hassle - the fact that it takes 10 minutes just to walk to my car, which really cuts down on the spontaneous trips. But it's good, because between the walk to the car and the lack of drive-thrus, I am way less likely to succumb to the fast food crave. And since the elevator doesn't work in the parking garage, I get to hike the 4 flights to my car. By Christmas, my butt should be GORGEOUS.
on Pandora: "Sweet Lemonade" - Monster Movie
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Balinese performance
This weekend offered a wealth of Asian theatre at the UCs. I opted against driving down to UCLA for a Peking Opera performance, since I have a lot of reading to do. Instead, I decided to stay local for a performance by a Balinese troupe - Gamelan Sekar Jaya.
Like everything around here, it was not what I expected. For one, it was in a very small, hidden theatre, and it was sold out. Got in on the waitlist. Also, I expected more dance, but given the small stage, there wasn't the room. It was filled with 13 musicians, their percussion-based instruments, leaving a very small little runway for a single dancer. Because it was so crowded, it was difficult to see anything.
The music was very interesting, less tonal than I would have thought. Metallic percussion, rhythm. There was a leader from Java and a Berkeley prof as MC. Unfortunately, the leader and one of the dancers were the only ethnic people on stage. It was a group of white guys, probably hippie grad students from Berkeley. There was one dance that would have been prelude to a theatre performance, but the focus was much more on the musical structure than dramatic function or tradition. I enjoyed the music, but with more theatre to read, it was hard to sit at a concert. It didn't help that it was really warm and I didn't tend to my sleeping sickness, so I felt really rude when I realised I was dozing off.
Like everything around here, it was not what I expected. For one, it was in a very small, hidden theatre, and it was sold out. Got in on the waitlist. Also, I expected more dance, but given the small stage, there wasn't the room. It was filled with 13 musicians, their percussion-based instruments, leaving a very small little runway for a single dancer. Because it was so crowded, it was difficult to see anything.
The music was very interesting, less tonal than I would have thought. Metallic percussion, rhythm. There was a leader from Java and a Berkeley prof as MC. Unfortunately, the leader and one of the dancers were the only ethnic people on stage. It was a group of white guys, probably hippie grad students from Berkeley. There was one dance that would have been prelude to a theatre performance, but the focus was much more on the musical structure than dramatic function or tradition. I enjoyed the music, but with more theatre to read, it was hard to sit at a concert. It didn't help that it was really warm and I didn't tend to my sleeping sickness, so I felt really rude when I realised I was dozing off.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Squeaky Wheel becomes an Advocate
For the past few weeks, I have been fighting different manifestations of the Man. The endless hold-times combined with totally unhelpful responses have permanently shortened my fuse for dealing with this crap. The fact that all of these calls have to be made on East Coast time makes things even more obnoxious, especially since I am on the West Coast, and I keep vampire hours. Only now am I starting to get a handle on them.
1. Insurance: I am still trying to resolve the final claim from my OU health insurance. Apparently the insurance didn't understand why a diagnosis of prolonged fatigue would require a visit to the sleep clinic. Then it got caught up in appeals and "codes". Since I am not in Ohio to deal with this, I actually have to be more mindful of it. After calling the 2 people at OU, the insurance company, and 2 contacts at the sleep clinic, I finally found the right person. When I talked to her, she had my entire file right in front of her with details. And within an hour, she had pretty much rectified the whole situation. Then she called me to promise to call me when it was finally resolved! How I miss the East Coast sometimes.
2. Student loan #1. Wachovia nee ACS takes advantage of the flux of student life, much to my infinite frustation. Apparently the day I graduated from OU, my undergrad loans came due. The 6-month grace period that they promise you is only a one-time deal. And once you use it, that's it. Thanks for that detail. Wachovia insists that they sent me lots of mail and called me, but the mail sent to my PARENTS' address never looked urgent enough for them to forward it along. Even when I looked at it, I didn't see anything - no payment stubs, no red letters. The phone calls were voicemail, mostly when I was traveling (in EUROPE), but didn't indicate the reason for the call. As a result, I suddenly went 60 days then 90 days overdue. When I finally talked to the bank, they put the loan in forebearance, since I was a student at UCSB. But during the 3 months between programs, the bank says that I am not a student. What does that make me?
While I don't have to pay off that loan yet, my credit record now says that I don't pay my bills on time. I made more calls, but they refuse to correct my report because I was not physically sitting in class, I was not a student, therefore, I was liable for my loan. Then they tried to chew me out for not being more proactive! Do I look like someone who lets things slide?? If I KNEW it was a problem, I would have dealt with it much earlier.
Now, I am drafting a letter to Wachovia to advocate for a different model for students. We are not average, "normal" borrowers. Our lifestyle is very different from those customers who have salaried jobs and whose local address matches their permanent address. Students move; they travel out of the country; they don't make money so they don't spend alot of time talking to banks. Assuming that one piece of mail to an address that may or may not be local, that may or may not even catch my attention among the pile of other mailings, is the best way to get payment from a student. These methods were developed for a different customer population.
3. Student loan #2. I have embraced the fact that as a graduate student, even as an academic, I will have to monitor my budget. I will probably always be in some flavor of debt, and my cabinets will always have a supply of rice and beans (unless the stipend check is late). But the fact that UCSB executively decided that their financial aid was SO good they canceled my federal loan. A couple of things about that.
Here is what I learned. Persevere and self-advocate. If you make enough phone calls, you will eventually find a person with either the information or authority to help. When that doesn't work, write letters. I feel very strongly about advocating for students. Students shouldn't have to waste time trying to hack through red tape and labyrinths of customer service circuits, trying to fit into expectations or lifestyles that just don't match their realities.
Now that I have started putting out some fires, I can focus on other things. Like my mountain of laundry overflowing from my closet.
on the tube: House
1. Insurance: I am still trying to resolve the final claim from my OU health insurance. Apparently the insurance didn't understand why a diagnosis of prolonged fatigue would require a visit to the sleep clinic. Then it got caught up in appeals and "codes". Since I am not in Ohio to deal with this, I actually have to be more mindful of it. After calling the 2 people at OU, the insurance company, and 2 contacts at the sleep clinic, I finally found the right person. When I talked to her, she had my entire file right in front of her with details. And within an hour, she had pretty much rectified the whole situation. Then she called me to promise to call me when it was finally resolved! How I miss the East Coast sometimes.
2. Student loan #1. Wachovia nee ACS takes advantage of the flux of student life, much to my infinite frustation. Apparently the day I graduated from OU, my undergrad loans came due. The 6-month grace period that they promise you is only a one-time deal. And once you use it, that's it. Thanks for that detail. Wachovia insists that they sent me lots of mail and called me, but the mail sent to my PARENTS' address never looked urgent enough for them to forward it along. Even when I looked at it, I didn't see anything - no payment stubs, no red letters. The phone calls were voicemail, mostly when I was traveling (in EUROPE), but didn't indicate the reason for the call. As a result, I suddenly went 60 days then 90 days overdue. When I finally talked to the bank, they put the loan in forebearance, since I was a student at UCSB. But during the 3 months between programs, the bank says that I am not a student. What does that make me?
While I don't have to pay off that loan yet, my credit record now says that I don't pay my bills on time. I made more calls, but they refuse to correct my report because I was not physically sitting in class, I was not a student, therefore, I was liable for my loan. Then they tried to chew me out for not being more proactive! Do I look like someone who lets things slide?? If I KNEW it was a problem, I would have dealt with it much earlier.
Now, I am drafting a letter to Wachovia to advocate for a different model for students. We are not average, "normal" borrowers. Our lifestyle is very different from those customers who have salaried jobs and whose local address matches their permanent address. Students move; they travel out of the country; they don't make money so they don't spend alot of time talking to banks. Assuming that one piece of mail to an address that may or may not be local, that may or may not even catch my attention among the pile of other mailings, is the best way to get payment from a student. These methods were developed for a different customer population.
3. Student loan #2. I have embraced the fact that as a graduate student, even as an academic, I will have to monitor my budget. I will probably always be in some flavor of debt, and my cabinets will always have a supply of rice and beans (unless the stipend check is late). But the fact that UCSB executively decided that their financial aid was SO good they canceled my federal loan. A couple of things about that.
- I am the first to admit that my financial aid package is very generous.
- The University developed a budget of living expenses, but it only accounts for 9-months out of the year. Last time I checked, I have bills 12 months out of the year.
- FAFSA said I qualified for a subsidized loan, which I accepted, but it was the University blocked it.
- I really don't lead a rock-star lifestyle, to the point of penny-pinching. You know all those websites with recommendations for cutting your expenses - I was there years ago. The Civic is paid off. I haven't been inside a Starbucks in months. My cell plan is the cheapest one around because it is 6 years old.
- I don't expect the University to pay my bills, but I do need the access to funds so that I can.
Here is what I learned. Persevere and self-advocate. If you make enough phone calls, you will eventually find a person with either the information or authority to help. When that doesn't work, write letters. I feel very strongly about advocating for students. Students shouldn't have to waste time trying to hack through red tape and labyrinths of customer service circuits, trying to fit into expectations or lifestyles that just don't match their realities.
Now that I have started putting out some fires, I can focus on other things. Like my mountain of laundry overflowing from my closet.
on the tube: House
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Cultural studies
While I like to think that all of this grad school has a good influence on me, I wonder if it isn't sucking the fun out of me. It has made me hyper-aware and a bit more cynical. Then again, it also gives me a new appreciation for other things. It's tweaking my sense of humor. When two articles jump out in the same day, there is no ignoring.
The first covers a new YouTube phenomenon. A redux of "Take On Me" by A-ha video, where they pretty much redid the video by literally narrating. It's hilarious! Combines two of my favorite things - 80s New Wave and the postmodern!
The other was meant to be funny, but the more I thought about it, the more it bugged me. Dumb criminal story. A couple of guys found guilty of blaring their music were subjected to "creative sentencing." Instead of the usual fine or mundane slap on the wrist, these guys were sentenced to 20 hours of classical music, to combat their taste in rap. On one hand, it's poetic. On the other, (and here is where all that theory starts to kick in), ridiculously elitist. Just Monday, my Cultural Studies class was discussing Marxist responses to mass culture, which pretty much ended up mass culture = pop culture = bad. High art = "authentic" = good, thus privileging stuff generated by singular "genius" such as classical music, Impressionist painting, and other things by dead white guys. Isn't a little elitist, even racist, to privilege classical over rap? And who is to say you can't blare classical? Then again, no one would be called out on for blaring classical.
To combat, I watch crappy Grey's Anatomy.
The first covers a new YouTube phenomenon. A redux of "Take On Me" by A-ha video, where they pretty much redid the video by literally narrating. It's hilarious! Combines two of my favorite things - 80s New Wave and the postmodern!
The other was meant to be funny, but the more I thought about it, the more it bugged me. Dumb criminal story. A couple of guys found guilty of blaring their music were subjected to "creative sentencing." Instead of the usual fine or mundane slap on the wrist, these guys were sentenced to 20 hours of classical music, to combat their taste in rap. On one hand, it's poetic. On the other, (and here is where all that theory starts to kick in), ridiculously elitist. Just Monday, my Cultural Studies class was discussing Marxist responses to mass culture, which pretty much ended up mass culture = pop culture = bad. High art = "authentic" = good, thus privileging stuff generated by singular "genius" such as classical music, Impressionist painting, and other things by dead white guys. Isn't a little elitist, even racist, to privilege classical over rap? And who is to say you can't blare classical? Then again, no one would be called out on for blaring classical.
To combat, I watch crappy Grey's Anatomy.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Advisors
Throughout my academic career, I have been really spoiled by my mentors. At William and Mary, I remember getting replies to my panic, tear-soaked 3AM emails within hours. And he told me to step away from AutoCAD and get some sleep, and then he would help me. Yet again.
At Ohio, my mentor was 100% amazing. Besides being super-available, he has the distinct talent for making you feel brilliant, despite any disorganized blathering you threw at his feet. Besides being amazing intelligent, he was always very supportive. And superfun to have a drink and conversation with.
Now that I am in my PhD program, things have changed a bit. My advisor is very interesting, shares some of my research interests, and I hear he dances. But he's a hard guy to nail down. And most of the other professors are super-eager to pawn me off to the next person or just focus on the one class I am taking with them. I don't know if it's a PhD thing or just a California thing.
So when I had questions about CFPs, I instinctively emailed DrJ at OU. And he called me back. With his usual prompt, insightful and inspiring energy. I don't know what I would do without him!
At Ohio, my mentor was 100% amazing. Besides being super-available, he has the distinct talent for making you feel brilliant, despite any disorganized blathering you threw at his feet. Besides being amazing intelligent, he was always very supportive. And superfun to have a drink and conversation with.
Now that I am in my PhD program, things have changed a bit. My advisor is very interesting, shares some of my research interests, and I hear he dances. But he's a hard guy to nail down. And most of the other professors are super-eager to pawn me off to the next person or just focus on the one class I am taking with them. I don't know if it's a PhD thing or just a California thing.
So when I had questions about CFPs, I instinctively emailed DrJ at OU. And he called me back. With his usual prompt, insightful and inspiring energy. I don't know what I would do without him!
Monday, October 06, 2008
Muffin attack
The sheer quantity of crap thrown at me on Friday went beyond humorous to actually scary. Cosmic Muffin didn't just get bored - it got vindictive.
Fridays = no classes. For grad students this is supposed to be a day for "research." In reality, it's the day you run all your errands. For me, this also includes making all those phone calls that have to be made during "normal business hours" which are inevitably on East Coast time. Unfortunately, this also involves burning cell minutes on hold. And apparently getting the run-around without resolution. So now I have to make yet another round of phone calls this Friday.
Running errands in Santa Barbara is also a challenge. Partially because I am still learning my way around town. Partially because I still underestimate traffic. Deposited my fellowship in the only branch of my bank in the area, which is on the opposite side of town. Then got hose down my car because it was infested with ants. I'm not sure how or why, since the windows were up and there wasn't any food/drink. And I'm not talking about a couple of stray ants. I'm talking multiple trails. I blame the construction at my apartment, which has made my car so dirty I can barely see out the windows. Forgot my bag in the car at Trader Joe's, and I couldn't find my TJ lo mein to replace what SuperK accidentally ate. Had to go to 4 different stores to get stuff I should I have just been able to get at Staples. Didn't make it to the post office. Went to the parking lot to meet the mail truck which left early. (It's only in the lot from 2-4 M-F to pick up oversized mail) UGH!
Suddenly it was nearly 4. I was super grumpy, and I was expected to attend the undergrad convocation for the department. But first, I had to pick up my course packets in IV. Biked down there to find out that they messed up my special order, thinking I just wanted the regular comb-bound packets. When I special-ordered them to be 3-hole punched because they are so damn huge, I don't want to carry 2.5inches of photocopies around. So they had to recopy both 700-page packets for me. (PS that's like $200 worth of course packets). Then I got a call from Mail Services insisting that the truck never left the lot, but that I could pick up my package directly from Mail Services before 5. By the time I explained that I wouldn't have missed a big white truck, I had about 12 minutes to bust ass down Los Carneros to get my book (and alot of attitude). Really? Why would I make this up? By the time I picked up my book (not the expensive textbook I have been waiting for and actually need this week), and they finished properly copying my packets (without so much as an apology), I had missed convocation. (Apparently they tried to introduce me, but I wasn't there. Awkward much?)
Being a couple flavors of fed up, I just decided to go to the Habit to get a cheeseburger and milkshake, because at the rate the Cosmic Muffin was going, my apartment would probably have caught on fire if I tried making food. But the road was blocked, involving a long detour. Got home, curled up and gave up. Only to be deafened by the sound of undergrads shrieking in the halls.
Yup, that's right. San Clemente is NOT grad housing as advertised, but rather overflow housing for undergrads where some grad students got suckered into living. Undergrads are loud, and the echoey architecture only exacerbates this. Closing the windows only cuts the shrill, but I still hear every drunk 19year old word clearly. And because this place is so disorganized, there is no one to complain to.
The Cosmic Muffin is relentless. It was really hard not only because of the individual piles of crap, but the fact that I got NOTHING accomplished, and I wasted my one day a week to do it. And I am still dealing with it (there is some hall-bonding game outside that involves screaming right now). I have an appointment with Financial Aid on Thursday, and will be hunting down a landline for all the bullshit phone calls I get to make. Again.
on iTunes: "High Rise" - Ladytron
Fridays = no classes. For grad students this is supposed to be a day for "research." In reality, it's the day you run all your errands. For me, this also includes making all those phone calls that have to be made during "normal business hours" which are inevitably on East Coast time. Unfortunately, this also involves burning cell minutes on hold. And apparently getting the run-around without resolution. So now I have to make yet another round of phone calls this Friday.
Running errands in Santa Barbara is also a challenge. Partially because I am still learning my way around town. Partially because I still underestimate traffic. Deposited my fellowship in the only branch of my bank in the area, which is on the opposite side of town. Then got hose down my car because it was infested with ants. I'm not sure how or why, since the windows were up and there wasn't any food/drink. And I'm not talking about a couple of stray ants. I'm talking multiple trails. I blame the construction at my apartment, which has made my car so dirty I can barely see out the windows. Forgot my bag in the car at Trader Joe's, and I couldn't find my TJ lo mein to replace what SuperK accidentally ate. Had to go to 4 different stores to get stuff I should I have just been able to get at Staples. Didn't make it to the post office. Went to the parking lot to meet the mail truck which left early. (It's only in the lot from 2-4 M-F to pick up oversized mail) UGH!
Suddenly it was nearly 4. I was super grumpy, and I was expected to attend the undergrad convocation for the department. But first, I had to pick up my course packets in IV. Biked down there to find out that they messed up my special order, thinking I just wanted the regular comb-bound packets. When I special-ordered them to be 3-hole punched because they are so damn huge, I don't want to carry 2.5inches of photocopies around. So they had to recopy both 700-page packets for me. (PS that's like $200 worth of course packets). Then I got a call from Mail Services insisting that the truck never left the lot, but that I could pick up my package directly from Mail Services before 5. By the time I explained that I wouldn't have missed a big white truck, I had about 12 minutes to bust ass down Los Carneros to get my book (and alot of attitude). Really? Why would I make this up? By the time I picked up my book (not the expensive textbook I have been waiting for and actually need this week), and they finished properly copying my packets (without so much as an apology), I had missed convocation. (Apparently they tried to introduce me, but I wasn't there. Awkward much?)
Being a couple flavors of fed up, I just decided to go to the Habit to get a cheeseburger and milkshake, because at the rate the Cosmic Muffin was going, my apartment would probably have caught on fire if I tried making food. But the road was blocked, involving a long detour. Got home, curled up and gave up. Only to be deafened by the sound of undergrads shrieking in the halls.
Yup, that's right. San Clemente is NOT grad housing as advertised, but rather overflow housing for undergrads where some grad students got suckered into living. Undergrads are loud, and the echoey architecture only exacerbates this. Closing the windows only cuts the shrill, but I still hear every drunk 19year old word clearly. And because this place is so disorganized, there is no one to complain to.
The Cosmic Muffin is relentless. It was really hard not only because of the individual piles of crap, but the fact that I got NOTHING accomplished, and I wasted my one day a week to do it. And I am still dealing with it (there is some hall-bonding game outside that involves screaming right now). I have an appointment with Financial Aid on Thursday, and will be hunting down a landline for all the bullshit phone calls I get to make. Again.
on iTunes: "High Rise" - Ladytron
Friday, October 03, 2008
Dusting off the dance shoes
In less than a week, I have already been dancing twice, and will probably go out again tonight. It's awesome!
As an undergrad, I was in the ballroom dance club. Then I was on the team. Then I was suddenly captain. At one point, I was dancing 4 or 5 times a week, practicing with my partner, teaching, socializing. A total blast. Sometimes it feels like a million years ago.
I tried with various levels of success to keep up my dancing, but life and budget can interfere. Back in a university setting, there are lots of opportunities, and they are much more affordable. (As much as I crave private lessons, I don't have the $80 a pop to drop on them). Last Saturday, there was a swing dance with band. Tonight a community dance. And last night was team practice focusing on International Rumba (technique) and American Foxtrot (yawn). It felt really good to focus on my technique instead of just following the same three steps at a social dance. I was dancing with good dancers! And as subtly as possible, I was able to coach a couple people.
My shoes made me stick out. Which was a good thing. People knew I had done this before. If nothing else, I got alot of compliments on them, which is funny given how thoroughly ratty they have become. If I keep this up, I will have to buy new ones!
On one hand, it's hard to justify going out dancing when I have mountains of reading to do. Then again, if my research is dancing, doesn't that count? Besides, it's good to get out, hang out with non-theatre people, move around, use a different part of my brain. And it is always such a charge!
on Pandora: "Girl on the Wing" - The Shins
As an undergrad, I was in the ballroom dance club. Then I was on the team. Then I was suddenly captain. At one point, I was dancing 4 or 5 times a week, practicing with my partner, teaching, socializing. A total blast. Sometimes it feels like a million years ago.
I tried with various levels of success to keep up my dancing, but life and budget can interfere. Back in a university setting, there are lots of opportunities, and they are much more affordable. (As much as I crave private lessons, I don't have the $80 a pop to drop on them). Last Saturday, there was a swing dance with band. Tonight a community dance. And last night was team practice focusing on International Rumba (technique) and American Foxtrot (yawn). It felt really good to focus on my technique instead of just following the same three steps at a social dance. I was dancing with good dancers! And as subtly as possible, I was able to coach a couple people.My shoes made me stick out. Which was a good thing. People knew I had done this before. If nothing else, I got alot of compliments on them, which is funny given how thoroughly ratty they have become. If I keep this up, I will have to buy new ones!
On one hand, it's hard to justify going out dancing when I have mountains of reading to do. Then again, if my research is dancing, doesn't that count? Besides, it's good to get out, hang out with non-theatre people, move around, use a different part of my brain. And it is always such a charge!
on Pandora: "Girl on the Wing" - The Shins
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Closet Cubs fans
To support the team, I am wearing my Cubs shirt today. They are division winners playing against LA Dodgers in Game 2 tonight, at Wrigley. I should not be this excited.
But it's an interesting social moment. Wearing Cubs regalia in Chicago goes largely unnoticed since so many people do it (unless you're on the South Side in Sox territory). Now I am wearing not only Chicago gear, but in potentially enemy territory, since so many UCSB kids are from LA. What is more surprising is not the sneers, but rather the cheers. It seems to empower all the closet Cubs fan, who give me a little Woo. Likewise, even when I am not wearing my shirt, I am likely to give a Woo to someone else wearing Cubs gear. We're in the minority, but it is a neat sense of inclusive and community.
A pet peeve of mine, though, is that the game conflict with the VP debates. Since I haven't figured out how to DVR one thing and watch another. So I am watching the game, but following the debate highlights online, which is rather backwards of me. But since I already feel pretty strongly about my VP options, it would probably only reinforce my thoughts on it.
The bigger issue I have actually, is that WGN doesn't get to air the game. 1. I prefer the way WGN covers games (I don't need that personal interest crap - I need to watch the game). 2. WGN is a Chicago station, but they don't get to cover a local game. 3. TBS coverage is exclusive to cable, meaning all those fans without cable can't watch the game.
As a compromise to my work and schedule, I will only watch until the Cubs get on the board. But I also toy with the idea of driving down to LA this weekend to further agitate and maybe get some standing room seats.
But it's an interesting social moment. Wearing Cubs regalia in Chicago goes largely unnoticed since so many people do it (unless you're on the South Side in Sox territory). Now I am wearing not only Chicago gear, but in potentially enemy territory, since so many UCSB kids are from LA. What is more surprising is not the sneers, but rather the cheers. It seems to empower all the closet Cubs fan, who give me a little Woo. Likewise, even when I am not wearing my shirt, I am likely to give a Woo to someone else wearing Cubs gear. We're in the minority, but it is a neat sense of inclusive and community.
A pet peeve of mine, though, is that the game conflict with the VP debates. Since I haven't figured out how to DVR one thing and watch another. So I am watching the game, but following the debate highlights online, which is rather backwards of me. But since I already feel pretty strongly about my VP options, it would probably only reinforce my thoughts on it.
The bigger issue I have actually, is that WGN doesn't get to air the game. 1. I prefer the way WGN covers games (I don't need that personal interest crap - I need to watch the game). 2. WGN is a Chicago station, but they don't get to cover a local game. 3. TBS coverage is exclusive to cable, meaning all those fans without cable can't watch the game.
As a compromise to my work and schedule, I will only watch until the Cubs get on the board. But I also toy with the idea of driving down to LA this weekend to further agitate and maybe get some standing room seats.
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